Words of Compassion

	Book review on How to talk with family caregivers about cancer by Ruth Bolletino (2009) Reviewed by Lawrence LeShan, 2009 published in Network Review No 101
	(order this book from amazon.co.uk)

In some ways reading a book is like taking a journey to a place you have never been before. You have expectations from the trip brochure or the book title. In most cases the experience does not meet the expectation. In some cases it does. In a few it exceeds it. This book belongs in the third category.What Bolletino is actually writing about is how the world looks and feels to people who have had the overwhelming shock of having themselves or someone very close diagnosed with a catastrophic illness, and how therapists and others who care can help them.

It is also, of course, by implication, about all of us. It is about how our expectations and beliefs affect us when we are suddenly struck by the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. All of us are changed when we or those close to us are hit by a terrifying diagnosis. We react in many different ways. Generally we could use knowledge and expertise to help, and often we desperately need them. Very seldom today is it available for therapists and other caretakers, for the family, and for the individual. This books fills a very much needed gap.

Psychotherapists usually are not aware of the need for specialised knowledge when they work with people in catastrophic situations. It is only very rarely included in training and supervision programmes. Then suddenly, faced with that need, we frequently flounder and are giving our clients much less than we wish to. Few of us, for example, are aware of the toxic belief systems which frequently appear even in the healthiest people in the presence of catastrophe. Often these beliefs not only increase the pain and suffering, but also physical and psychological recovery.

As Dr. Martin Rossman, M.D. (a highly experienced and trained psychotherapist if ever there was one) indicates in his review on the back cover, this book should be on every therapist's bookshelf for those unexpected times when we are faced with the presence of catastrophe either in our patients' lives or in our own and, as little as we would like to face it, some such moments come sooner or later, always suddenly and unexpectedly. For nearly all of us, such moments will occur. When they do, this book is a wise, experienced, and compassionate friend.

Lawrence LeShan, Ph.D. is the author of many books on consciousness and cancer care. He celebrates his 90^th birthday next year.

(order this book from amazon.co.uk)